Back In The Dating Game

One of the most difficult things in life is transitioning out of a bad marriage or relationship and starting over again or getting into something new. Dating these days is not as simple as it used to be and in most cases the rules have changed. Its no longer required that men open the door for women and its also isn't required that men pay for the meal when taking a woman out to lunch, dinner or even a movie for the first time.As in years past the man used to be the bread winner or the one that paid the bills, in most cases that has changed or been reversed. These changes can be hard to handle for most men or women who happen to be in the age groups 39-60 because most were raised in a time, where men were gentlemen and women were ladies. Back then men paid for just about everything, but in today's time that has changed. Now we live in a new age where women sometimes make more money than their male counterparts and in some households women, not men are the bread winners. Now there are stay at home dads instead of housewives and now sad to say some men have become lazy because of it. Some men expect women to take care of them not only with money, but also in the bedroom, while some women expect the men they are with or dating to do the same. With so many people embracing alternative lifestyles or with some married people seeking outside lovers, no strings attached relationships even though they may have a husband, wife or significant other at home it can make dating a little scary. It can make others afraid to start all over again. It makes one want to ask, How can one adjust to a new reality when they get Back Into The Dating Game?

This was a questioned asked of me by one of my readers. She was just getting out of a divorce and wanted to know was it okay to just date someone without having sex with them? She was frustrated because all the men she has been meeting  always wanted sex before they became friends. Most men she explained always wanted sex after a meal and if they paid for something like gas or gave her money the men always wanted sex in return. Her words exactly were that she wasn't desperate and didn't want to rush into anything, she only wanted some male companionship while she was getting over her failed marriage. It other words she only wanted friendship or a friend.

These are my thoughts to my readers questions. Friendship isn't a word that should be used loosely and when a person puts the word DATE in front of friendship that is when it causes problems. This is my advice to my reader or to anyone that happens to be getting out of a marriage or relationship. Before you choose to date or get involved in a relationship you should first take time to get know yourself all over again. Check out the new world, that you are getting into, because chances are it has changed since you last dated. If you don't want or not ready for more than a friendship, then you should say so upfront. That way no one will be confused and so that the other person completely understands the situation. If both of you decide to go out to eat or to a movie, each should be prepared to pay their own bills separately. Is it okay to date someone without having sex with them? Yes, but before anyone gets back in the dating game, that should be expressed up front. That way they will know if they are a friend, future lover or something more exclusive other than a friend. Communication is always to key to success, when Back In The Dating Game. Don't worry its healthy to be afraid and even natural be be a little spectacle when dating. But with a little practice anyone can master new age dating, when they get Back Into The Dating Game. Write in then express your thoughts or views on the subject.
Have a wonderful weekend,
Chuck
P.S. A word of advice to all the ladies, if you are out on a date with your male companion please keep this in mind. While you are holding hands, staring into his eyes, while drinking alcoholic beverages such as beer ,wine, or any other mixed drink, men hormones are naturally ragging. Next time you decide to go out on a date try using the words hanging out, instead of dating. That way he won't get confused and try to take your friendship to the next level. Keep a safe distance away from him and try not to engage in anything physical. That way he will know that you are out on date and only friends.