The Friend Zone

Question, how does one know when they are real men or women? No it isn't because they grew into the age of 18 or 21, because with age everyone will one day reach that point. It isn't when one gets a job, car or home, money, their own business or a college education and even having children of your own doesn't make any man or woman, a real men or women. These things alone don't make a person real man or woman and until each man or woman can look at themselves in the mirror, then say I am who I am for better or worse and I am happy with me, they will never truly be real men or women. Not only do they have to say that to themselves, but also act the part in the outside world. That means while they are on their jobs working for someone else or even working for themselves they should always remain confident and even while or attempting to establish a new relationship a real man or woman should always be sure of themselves. The reason why this is so important, is because even after someone hires you or if you happen become someones new love or lover, you will be judged or compared by those or others who came before you.There will be questions floating in your bosses or new loves mind, that will make them wonder if they made the right decision or even if you are the right one. Unfair or not that's life and everybody has to be able to over come the thoughts or feelings of others.

Since this happens to be a relationship blog I won't get to deeply involved into your employer's mind, but instead I will focus my attention to the man or woman you happen to be dating or involved with. Many men or women often compare their new interest to others they have dated, been in relationships or had sex with, past marriage or marriages and even to their friends or relatives current, new or ex spouses. Yes its funny that even though they should realize that you are someone new, you are still being judged or compared. This is why some relationships never get off the ground or remain in The Friend Zone because while they are involved with you, they are also seeing others on the side trying to make up their minds, too if they want you or not. Complicated I know, because one moment you could be lovers, wanted and told that you are perfect for them or the only one they want to spend their lives with. Then without a thought or blink of an eye, you won't hear from them for days, weeks, months and even years. Then in that very same instant they come back into your life, as if nothing has ever happened or changed. Some men or women are like that love you in a moment and  in the next they are gone.

 That's why this is called The Friend Zone, the question is what should you do if you happen to be the victim of this symptom and want out of it? This question was asked to me from a young man that I happen to be working with. He met a beautiful woman, that he thought that was just as interested in him, as he was in her and then all the sudden the communication stopped flowing. When he would attempt to call or text her she wouldn't answer, so just like what any normal person would do he stopped trying and started to moved on with his life. Then right when he started to act on his thoughts or feelings, there she was messaging him on Face book and when that didn't work phone calls on his cell phone. He looked at me then said," Chuck man, I started not to answer, but in a way I still had feelings for her and I really wanted to resolve them before I moved on. Our conversation went like this; Hello Chris how have you been? I said okay and yourself? Then she said I missed you why haven't you been in contact with me? Then I answered by saying I tried but you never answered so I gave up! Then she said something funny to me Chuck, that made me a little angry and at the same time I wanted to laugh. When she said this, a real man would chase or pursue his woman to no end and never give up! Women love a man who shows her interest by being wine, dined and called or text just because. Then at this very moment Chuck I knew I grew up and became a man because the answer I gave her killed her and she couldn't say a thing. I looked at her then said truthfully I really miss you and wanted to spend my life with you, but I am no woman's second choice. Real men or Kings don't chase or run behind any woman that doesn't show interest or back up their words. You told me that you wanted me and we were in a relationship which takes two. As my father would say a man or woman's word is their bond. If you can't keep your word, how do you expect me to keep mine. Sorry I am not about to chase or run behind you, because I am done ! Chuck, I wasn't about to let this woman put me, into The Friend Zone. Write in then express your thoughts or feelings on the subject.

Happy Thanksgivings,

Chuck